Obecalp(2) by New Age Pharm House

These days, doctors and other authorized prescription writers like to prescribe medications- especially those that give the doctor a generous kickback. When pharm means kickback- that's 1K to 5K dollars. You know, not too much work to get that new car. As long as no one gets side effects, all's happy and well.
On the other hand, Obecalp has no side effects, and is a low-cost alternative that reaches the same placebo effect which fancy, expensive, and time-consuming solutions may do. Obecalp is so revolutionary that it's not on the medicare/aid schedule yet. Don't let the doctor prescribe an unnecessary medication which pads his or her pockets and milks yours! There are many different forms of Obecalp specifically suited to each patient's needs:

Obecalp: (active ingredient: carbonated sucrose dehydrogenase) is a powerful remedy that is prescribed by doctors for many different conditions. Ask your doctor if Obecalp is right for you. Side effects may include a craving for sweetened items or even tooth decay; withdraw symptoms include sugar crash.

Obecalp Lite: (active ingredient: saccharin) goes easy on your waistline, and is suitable for those with conditions which counteract Obecalp Regular.

Obecalp Once-a-day: (active ingredients: aspartame, gelatin) Don't let taking Obecalp get in the way of your daily routine! Once-a-day Obecalp is formulated with two layers to provide both fast acting and long lasting relief.

Obecalp PM: Specially formulated to reduce risk of tooth decay when taken at bedtime.

Obecalp for Kids: (active ingredients: moderate fructose corn syrup, niacinamide) Obecalp for Kids increases immunity to schoolhouse germs and has been proven to increase levels of physical activity among youngsters. Comes in groovy grape or bubbly bubble gum flavors. Side effects may include hyperactivity, which can be counteracted with Ritalin.

Obecalp Xtreme: (active ingredient: agent Y) Feeling tired after midnight is a chronic condition, which, if not treated, may lead to serious problems that can hinder your performance throughout life. Obecalp Xtreme contains the natural ingredients found in OTC Aspirin medication. (some varsity athlete): All your friends are taking it! What are you waiting for?

Obecalp Antacid: (active ingredients: sucrose, sodium bicarbonate) Regular antacids only mask acid reflux! Obecalp Antacid has been shown in clinical trials to cut to the root of the problem. Do not take if overly full from food or drink.

Obecalp KO: (active ingredients: ethanol, petrolatum gel, castor oil, methane by-products) Remember those bygone college days when you were so full of vitality, yet could get a good night's sleep? If you've lost that pep, you may have a condition. Ask your doctor if Obecalp KO is right for you. Obecalp KO may cause drowsiness. Do not operate hazardous machinery or a vehicle until you know this medication's affect on your motor abilities.

DISCLAIMER: This product, Obecalp, is actually a marketed item with a valid patent. Name is used under fair use through the spoof clause. The concept for derivative products such as Obecalp for Kids was created by the author of this blog. Look for these items, under a different trademark, on your local pharmacy shelf in coming years.