You know you haven't been on a plane in a while if...
You expected not to pay for your first two bags of luggage
You think the drinks and peanuts are free
You licked your chops in anticipation of the meal, also free
You call the flight attendant "stewardess"
You think the pilot's all jolly about his paycheck
You read the inflight magazine because there's no better entertainment
You thought smoking was allowed on board, and there was a lounge to do so in.
You call for a blanket and pillow, and expect to not shell out a Hamilton- or swipe your card
You deny that a plane can make it from DC to Alaska nonstop
You refuse to believe that transcontinental flights are $189 (plus taxes and fees)
and that transatlantic flights are the same price.
You thought you were still on the ground because the takeoff was so quiet.
You believe that the stewardesses are registered nurses
You think the average flier's outfit is scandalous