American Jokes

I love America. I'm not laughing at it, but with it. These jokes sum up some stereotypes about Americans: Stuffed, gun-toting, cupiant, affluent, overlyprotective, and on...

"1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. "

(http://www.jokesaboutamericans.com/)

How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out. (Ibid)

Why is an astronaut like an American footballer?
They both like to make safe touch-downs.

These four guys were walking down the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.

A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"

The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"
The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"
The Israeli, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"
The American says, "What's a shortage?"

(http://thejokes.co.uk/american-humor-3.php)