The Drive for Federal Efficiency

Happy Easter to all! *** Downsizing of the federal government occurred under Vice President Gore in the mid-1990’s. This was a Democratic administration that was willing to get tough on crime, bring efficiency to government, and “end welfare as we know it”. Washington, DC does not remember this downsizing. In fact, the city flourished and rejuvenated as federal agencies moved out of untaxed federal real estate and into leased office space; and income-constrained federal employees moved into contracting roles with generous payscales. In that era, the economy as a whole was bifurcated. In the Old Economy were massive corporations with significant physical assets (airlines, utilities, and manufacturers), often unionized, with administrative bloat worthy of the “railroad era”, as one business author put it. In the New Economy were nimble, fast-growing companies, that encouraged employee ownership and initiative (and not in a passive, DRIP-shares kind of way). Many of these businesses were in finance, technology applications, and retail. The federal government, which swelled in size during the 1960’s, was a creature of the Old Economy. Many federal employees, hired prior to 1983, were enrolled in defined-benefit pension plans. Federal job titles were, to a greater extent than today, were highly siloized; cross functional training didn’t exist then. Great Society initiatives had put large numbers of scientists, analysts and other thinkers on the federal payroll, employees whose job performance was hard to evaluate on a year-to-year basis, and whose productivity was just as difficult to ascertain. Under Al Gore’s scalpel, great efficiencies could be achieved. The cost of Research and Development, and the endless count of federal studies could be quantified by issuing contracts instead of paying general-scale (GS) employees to scintillate on topics of interest. The Federal Government hired smarter. President Obama’s “insourcing” drive during the Great Recession focused on hiring recent graduates, who had difficulty finding private-sector employment. In comparison to “career” feds, they were inexpensive and generally motivated. One thing that did not change was the bureaucracy involved in agency-based grants to the various states. Attorneys and compliance specialists were required both on the giving and receiving sides, and often at the local level, too. These stipulations applied even for miniscule grants of $20,000 or less. Indeed, the bureaucracy- the gap between Congressional appropriations and the funds being used to move dirt, was more stifling in more austere budgetary environments. Witness the number of smaller private colleges opting out of federal student loan programs; in addition to philosophical differences over issues such as Title IX, it was no longer cost-effective to accept federal money. The truth of “inefficient” federal employees got spun into “lazy” feds by politicians unhappy with the strings attached to their hometown grants, such as DEI requirements. Remember the author who criticized corporate bloat? One of his recommendations was to trust but verify; approve the travel vouchers and purchase requests, then let the audit process catch errors. Few politicians want to turn off the spigot of federal funds issued by the agencies in downtown DC. They just want to cut out the middlemen. Let’s retool those middlemen for new careers in the states (as New York, Maryland, and Virginia are encouraging) or in the charitable foundations of billionaires who benefit from this federal efficiency drive.

What Did You Do Last Week?

“What did you do last week?”, Elon Musk asked employees of the US Government. Many found the question to be patronizing, others found it to be revealing of an inefficient bureaucracy that needs reform and streamlining. This was the reason I left my position as a shoreside Electrical Engineer in 2022, in favor of a seagoing position as First Assistant Engineer. I was stuck in bureaucracy; I relied on other people to give me information, in order for me to analyze it and give recommendations to my supervisor. Oftentimes, I was waiting on the information from the field; or from supervisory decisions, which were made in a once-weekly committee. I feared that a performance review would leave the rater wondering what I was doing; instead, it was Elon Musk asking the question. I never got the email last week. I would have replied that “I activated an old cargo steamship for use by the US Navy”. I got something done last week. Venture capitalists (vulture capitalists) who perform, leveraged buyouts, Carl Icahn or Elon Musk, pride themselves on finding businesses with structural inefficiencies that they can correct, thereby releasing the full potential of its economic value. For example, Twitter (X) grew its workforce too fast, and found its headcount rife with what author David Graeber calls “BS jobs”. As the new owner, Elon Musk cut bureaucracy within the company, and applied shock treatment to its headcount, bringing it in line (and even less) with other tech companies of the same size. In reforming the civil service, a different approach must be used. The primary hallmarks of government employment are stability and public impact. Since the 1970s, federal employees have faced furloughs at every government shutdown. A private company would treat that period as a short-term layoff; however Congress has always proffered backpay in order to retain its workforce and keep the federal government’s role as a steady employer. Revoking work-from-home, at least on a temporary basis, is a good remedial step for a program that has become too gangly. Young federal employees feel disengaged when they can’t get facetime with mentors and supervisors. Shopping districts in suburban Washington, DC are suspiciously busy during core working hours. Falsified timecards are one of the ways to a quick removal from federal employment; pulling people back from the fire by bringing them back into the office, therefore, could be seen as a responsible act. It is also a soft form of a loyalty test: are you here with us hell and highwater, or are you a summer soldier? “Non sibi, sed patriae”: this is a Latin phrase which translate to “Not for myself, but for my country”. When federal hiring, in some agencies, has been about meeting minimum standards to fill seats, we lose the broader vision. One might call this “privilege” to think beyond the minutiae of “essential job functions”, but it is important to bring back a company culture to federal employment. Some of my neighbors in DC felt that we gave away the culture when the federal government ended defined-benefit pensions in the 1980s. I look to the Department of Defense, and its recent interest in the “warrior culture” (cue Jim Mattis and Pete Hegseth). In contrast are the bureaucrats who trained shiphandlers on CD ROMs (SWOS in a box) or impose byzantine policies that keep tradesmen from doing their jobs in a timely fashion. The “warrior culture” could be defined as “love of mission”, and at least for now, young people have been trickling back into recruiting offices for the armed forces. Ironically, soldiers do best when they are doing something; in peacetime, this includes innovative field exercises and humanitarian missions. Politically speaking, we understood that Trump and his supporters would want to “whack” the unelected bureaucrats who impose things like vaccine mandates. This was accomplished in high-profile firings. What I am concerned with is the across-the-board cuts in certain agencies, and among most first year (probationary) employees, which are taking place outside of the usual reduction-in-force plan. What I regret is the loss of a human touch. Would it really hurt the business objective if the Trump administration (the “You’re Fired” guy) to allow a few months’ lead time before layoffs, so that displaced employees can make suitable arrangements for their future employment, within the government or in the private sector?

The End of Overtime

Overtime pay, “time and a half” by law, and sometimes higher by employer-labor agreement, has been one of the building bricks of the postwar middle class. The first working-class beneficiaries of this provision in the 1940’s were familiar with six-day workweeks, and for those who grew up on the family farm, a seven-day workweek. The 40-hour workweek was foremost a job-sharing measure to end the Great Depression, but was also recognized as a move that gave the workforce more time for rest and recreation. White collar professionals, domestic workers, and many small-boat mariners do not receive overtime pay. Over the decades, retail managers have also found themselves as “exempt” workers. At least one maritime officers’ union has switched contracts from overtime-eligible to pure salary. For those still eligible for overtime pay, the allure has lessened, especially among the youngest generations. Time-and-a-half doesn’t go as far as it used to. Oliver Anthony sung this year: “Overtme hours for bull---- pay”. Baby Boomers worked long hours to buy grown-up toys: seldom-used RVs and boats that are still in shape to be used by the next generation, no new payments needed. In the past, overtime hours were often voluntary, in that you opted to stay to finish a job, of signed up for an extra shift. But in a time of staffing shortage, mandatory overtime offers less flexibility. Where there might have been a sense of obligation for a sole breadwinner to earn a little more money after-hours, today’s more-than-likely two-income household must share domestic chores, and passing jokes in the air-conditioned control room may appear more enjoyable than Saturday diaper duty. To cope with these changes in expectations, factories that were once running 60-hour average workweeks are adapting to a two-shift schedule. As far as practices in deep-sea shipping, weekly workhours have probably increased in the past 50 years, with the reduction of dedicated positions such as Radio Officer, Purser, and Machinist. However, tours of duty on American ships have fallen from an average of 6 months to 3 months; work harder for fewer months per year. Reliable automation, like the new cargo winches onboard USNS Arctic requiring half the operators as older systems; and increasing the mean time between equipment failures, do hold promise for freeing up mariners’ time, while at sea.

State Capitals and Railroads: A Historical Symbiosis

Where’s your state capital? If on the East Coast, look for the train station. Railroads and majestic state capitals were built in tandem. As reliable streetcars were not available until the 1890’s, state capitals had to be located near downtown hotel and restaurant districts, and to mainline railroads reaching across their respective states.   

Washington, DC’s Union Station was built in 1906 six blocks north from the US Capitol. Most of DC’s municipal offices are located six blocks west in Judiciary Square. Simultaneous projects included a tunnel for trains to pass underneath- instead of across- Capitol Hill, a streetcar terminal for service to the old downtown, and construction of the restricted-access US Senate subway.

Legislators and staff in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and Richmond, Virginia also walk six blocks to their respective state capitals. 

Even though all parts of the state can be reached in a day’s ride on horseback, Providence, Rhode Island’s train station is located at the back door of the state capital.

The capital in Trenton, New Jersey is a half-mile from the train station, which serves high-speed electric trains between Washington, DC and New York City via Philadelphia.

Although the station is located on the “wrong” side of the navigable Hudson River, train service operates frequently on the Empire Corridor between Buffalo; Albany, New York; and New York City.

The very historic state house in Annapolis, Maryland, dating to 1772, used to be located at the terminal of a rapid commuter rail line to much-larger Baltimore; but was stranded after the railroad was abandoned in the 1950s. Light rail service was restored over a portion of the corridor in 1992, but ends some 15 miles from Annapolis.

Then-Senator Joe Biden commuted from Wilmington, Delaware to the US Capitol by Amtrak; but passenger trains have not served his peninsular state capital of Dover, Delaware in decades.

Augusta, Maine sadly lost their train service, which used to run in front of the state house promenade. A similar fate befell Concord, New Hampshire, where buses have replaced trains since 1967. Nevertheless, there’s always talk of restoring commuter rail service to Boston.

Montpellier, Vermont still has Amtrak service; although the hilly topography put the station a mile from town.

Springfield, Massachusetts and Hartford, Connecticut are served by Amtrak Northeast Corridor’s “Inland Route”, as well as respective state commuter rails.

Although few trains operate here today, Raleigh, North Carolina’s capital is also within walking distance of the rail line.

West Virginia is a young state, born during the Civil War. Three passenger trains a week serve Charleston, West Virginia on Amtrak’s sleepy and mountainous Cardinal Line between Chicago and Washington, DC.

Government Shutdown Equals Failure

Let’s suppose your local power company tried to prove a point to your city council by shutting off electricity, plunging the town into darkness. Or the real life example of a Chicago Teachers Union which went on strike during the school year, and were rightly cricitized for the tactics they used.

Every time the US government heads into shutdown, it represents the failure of the US Congress, or the presidency, to fulfill basic responsibilities. Indeed, each family in America prepares and executes a budget, answering to the needs of its members. They may do it on spreadsheets, or may do so in the back of their mind. The members of Congress certainly do not resemble the role of benevolent fathers and mothers at this time.

My work life continues, business as usual, during the shutdown. The shutdown is limited in scope, even leaving my alma mater, the USMMA, unaffected. But there are inconveniences. Uncertainty among civil service in DC is likely putting a damper on the local small business economy, as previous shutdowns did. My correspondence with the US Coast Guard’s civilian-focused National Maritime Center is delayed. While of little consequence to me, it could mean lost job opportunities to other mariners, if they can’t get credentials issued on time.

So, please, Congress, do not let identity politics and rigid ideologies hurt constituents any longer. Voters, too, should remember in 2020.

Deconstructing the Department of Motor Vehicles

As I stand in line waiting for the DMV to open, I wonder how the experience could be improved. Online services have helped tremendously, reducing workload for "Patty and Selma" behind the desk.  Permits have to be renewed in person less frequently than in the past. But sometimes you still have to go to the DMV, MVA, or whatever it's called in your state.

How about privatizing? No, this is not a libertarian antigovernment screed; I'm referring to the customer-facing services. The government definitely has a role in ensuring safety of vehicles and their operators on public roads. But going to the DMV still stings.

The driver's license or ID card is an important document that allows people onto airplanes and into other secure facilities. How could you trust a private firm to issue IDs? On behalf of the federal government,  private Acceptance Agents check identity documents for the IRS, notaries give a seal of witness to legal documents, and contractors perform security screening in lieu of the TSA in places like San Francisco, and at a number of small airports. Ditto the rationale for registering car titles and license plates.

And would shady companies look the other way on tests? Computer based testing, typically arranged by the firms Prometric and Pearson Vue, is used for knowledge tests in issuing certificates and licenses to skilled tradesmen and professionals. No clerk can nudge you up to a passing grade. A simulator would objectively evaluate driving skills versus a subjectively-graded road test. However, a simulator seems to be a disservice to 16-year olds when this 20-minute test allows for a lifetime of driving. So, okay, you'd go to the DMV for that road test.

Astrodyntech Found Another Way

It's my ethical obligation to let readers know that I posted my most recent post on April 1. In reality, no corporation has created a mass migration for the purpose of getting a corporate candidate into Congress. However, I must say that my last post was not all fiction; corporate-backed candidates do sit in Congress, and at much less of a cost to corporations than Astrodyntech's grand plan. Nevertheless, wouldn't it have shock value for a big corporation to form a political party?

The President of Astrodyntech got results back from a study which uncovered that other corporations and big companies got the people and policies they wanted into office with the following:

Lobbyists- hey, Mr. Congressman; if you vote for this, you'll look smart.

Setting up a magic show: big companies make it rain- for example, everyone likes more jobs in town. Attribute these jobs to Mr. or Ms.' policies, while he or she is running for office, and you make a friend.

Private Industry does it better, and at a lower cost- Everyone wins: the politician, the taxpayers, and the big companies, especially.

Flat Tax Rate- this is part of the next point, but wouldn't Average Joe like a simpler tax return? The millions of small...uh... lots of businesses in America would like that too.

Trickle Down Economics- This policy's popularity is a product of the following point: the IRS has a monopoly on government based wealth spreading, but the free market will spread the wealth. It's got to happen, right?

Fear of monopolies - Competition makes a better product. If one organization collects your tax money, how do you know that it's being collected in the best way possible? Outsource the IRS to the highest bidders. Sell the right to collect taxes from w million number of people at up to xyz rates. That's a contract Astrodyntech would love.


While these candidates fall under two big tents, the GOPs and the Dems, rather than carrying outright the name of a corporation, it's a small detriment in comparison to the huge costs of maintaining an under worked plebiscite in a company town.


Now there are enough political blogs, and plenty of them have IP addresses originating from the Washington, DC Area. It's about time I step off the political bandwagon. Next topic if nothing supersedes: Golf carts- a Suburban 14-Something's Upcoming Necessity?

April 1: Astrodyntech Bids for 1st Corporate Seat

Residents of the DelMarVa peninsula have been wondering about the sudden increase in moving trucks coming through their part of the woods. In March of 2010, according to exclusive and anecdotal reports, Astrodyntech opened shop in Delaware, and accepted applications over 230,000 people from all over the world. These people then were required to relocate to company housing in rural southern Delaware. Observers note that this mass migration was just in time for the decennial census, and that this mass influx at this time was both economical for the fledgling company and just large enough to win Delaware a second seat in the House.

Since then, the company has moved another 110,000 staffers to this new boomtown. It is becoming apparent that the redistricting board made a pinkie-swear with the President of Astrodyntech to not "gerrymander" the new boomtown by keeping it in one cohesive Representative District. Delaware is not one of eleven states that is required to report such redistricting to the Feds, as per the 1965 Voting Rights Act.

Says Delaware State Historian Angie DeFlow, "Ever since the DuPont family started making chemicals, our state has always sold out to corporate interests". VPOTUS Joe Biden, formerly a US Senator from the State, released the following statement regarding the feds' response: "We have no grounds to invade their property until we have a warrant, which we don't have. We're really curious, though, so we'll jump on the next opportunity. An example of an opportunity might be a coworker coming to the cops with a workplace smoking violation. Then the Labor Department can get in there and see what's going on; but for now, our administration holds nothing against Astrodyntech". Says Delaware Governor Jack Markell: "It's a great opportunity for all Delawareans to have such an influx of new talent and new investment. For us, it's no small wonder that Delaware would be the breeding ground of democratic innovation. By the way, come some time and enjoy our tax-free shopping". Marylanders are wondering with envy why this debacle isn't playing out across the Mason-Dixon Line. Although the Maryland State Senate Leader declaimed this Astrodyntech maneuver as a "desecration of democracy", Lisa Gladden spoke with tearful eyes, as if this debacle was a missed opportunity for Maryland.

Astrodyntech is a privately held corporation which was incorporated in November 2008 in the State of Delaware. Main shareholders include many politicians and ex-politicians at all levels of government, not to neglect Halliburton's hefty share in the enterprise. Regarding the controversy that has arisen regarding the number of power players who hold stock, the President of the Company stated that "We're paying our team members 25 thousand a year, each, plus benefits, for cushy work. If we were paying to play, we could've bought that Illinois seat from Blago back in '09 for 600 grand". The company, asides from these brief comments, has remained mum and kept a low profile, and employees are dedicated to a confidentiality policy, with not whistleblowers coming forward yet.

Based on those figures provided, Astrodyntech will pay out around $7.5 billion in payroll this year. Considering the real cost for the Company, though, we estimate that three-quarters of those funds go back into the Company through rent, the company store, and work they actually get from their stiffs. The employees now are mostly occupied with building this new city; but once everything is built, one can only wonder if the stiffs will spend their days loafing around the grounds.

Residents of Delaware have mixed views. Pizza shop owner Donatello "Buddy" Rissoto, 38, states: "So here's a company that started in the middle of the Great Recession, and now has 300,000 some employees. They (Astrodyntech) deserve something". Another commenter, retiree Jake Barnes, 76, takes a different view: "Look, a survey in the Sassafras High School News reports that the name Jack Markell doesn't ring a bell to a third of the students, a good number of them who are registered voters. Thank you, www.youthvote.org. If the survey had asked for the Governor's name, I suppose half the students couldn't answer correctly, one l or two. By the way, he's their Governor! Politicians are taking advantage of dimwitted, angry, voters. Back in my day, by the way, the voting age was 21, not 17. Yes, I said 17; and I fought in Korea, too."

Update...
Just today, a candidate for the 2012 2nd District Election emerged from the largely secluded boomtown. The Astrodyntech party was officially recognized a few days ago by the state. The petition for recognition of this party came in with significant bump over the required signature count. Pundits state that, at least 75%, closer to 90%, will have to vote their boss into power if she is to win. This high threshold is based on predictions for high voter turnout as citizens will want to counter the corporate candidate in this historic Election. The pundits also predict that a number of the signatories on the party's petition just wanted to see this party become legitimate, but will have cold feet at the voting booth.

The candidate stated that she, who has given no identity other than Astrodyntech so far, will most likely align with Old Time Republicans, but says that she looks forward to the day that "the movers of the American Economy, financiers of public education, wars, welfare programs, subsidies, Social Security and Medicare, and American Civil Society", what we think is codespeak for large corporations, will get a fair say in the democratic process. "It's been "look out for the little man" for a century now. Let's change the tide".

Says economist Jack Johnson, "The success of Astrodyntech relies on the outcome of the election. What the employees realize is that, if the company doesn't win, the leadership will declare corporate bankruptcy and walk away scotch free. If this happens, then all the little guys and gals are out of work. We are certain that the staff is being coached about this is in the daily 'employee meetings'". There is a stock benefit in employees, which Johnson says is a cruel ploy to get employees to politic harder for this corporate candidate than they otherwise would. In summation, no Republic has lasted forever; this may be the start of the fall of democracy in America". But, Johnson also quips, "If Astrodyntech was thinking straight, they might've gone for a lower turnout midterm election. On that thought, they'd have gone for a low population state like the Dakotas to get the bang for their buck: the two Senate seats would've come for free".

Infrastructure and Debt

I'm on Winter Break now, so readers can expect more insightful and numerous posts over the next two weeks.

Increasing national debt seems to have bipartisan support. This recent legislation aggravates the Fed's fiscal condition. It's old news now, but I have to bring it up for the record. Giving tax breaks to all (rich and poor and those in between) is an easy way to get re-elected -until someone forecloses on the Feds.

Manhattan's population, both in terms of residents and visitors, has grown steadily over at least the past 20 years. In the meantime, a single new link to access the island, from Mainland US, or the outer boroughs, has been built or rebuilt since the 1950's. This newer link would be a single rail tunnel started in the 1960's, finished in the 1980's. Likewise, no new subway has been opened since 1940, save for a few miles in the 1980's. There is supposedly a new tunnel being built under the East River to Grand Central,but we can't verify progress until the trains start to run. For all I know it could just be a money pit- sort of like the cancelled Hudson Tunnel Project. Gov. Christie: things don't get cheaper! As for the Hudson River, no new span- rail or auto- has been built since 1936. Modern technology has allowed for increased efficiency of the train tunnels, but some time you need infrastructure!

MD 200 (codename for Outer Beltway) appears to be almost complete on the first 5-mile section. On-time completion is still within the allotted timeframe. I would have appreciated it if the road were open today- would've saved time over winding through backroads!

We've Got Creativity

Every competitor to American dominance (and holder of the fed's debt)seems to be sending satellites, trinkets, and people into space while we stagnate. They, too, seem to have kids who are smarter and more dedicated to learning than our videogaming youth. These international kids major in STEM disciplines, of all things! So, is America behind?

Who was...
First to launch the forerunner to mid-20th century rocket technology (Goddard),
First Space Tourist (Dennis Tito of California)
First to send an Iphone to Space on a 4-figure budget("Brooklyn Space Program"*)First to privatize Space. I heard that the backer of the SpaceX program is actually from South Africa, but history books will remember this as an "American" endeavor.

The SpaceX launch earlier this week resembled what the government did about 50 years ago. However, one main difference is that this project was spearheaded by private industry. If a private company built a craft that terminates the lives of 2% of its occupants, there'd certainly be outrage, and shutdown by the feds. But if the government does it, it's simply a Christopher Columbian Odyssey. In 55 or so years of government management through NASA, the space program notably sent men to the moon (but none in 37 years), and a shuttle (which would be an antique if it were a car). As in a number of other homegrown tech-related industries, the government spearheaded initially, but then there came a time for private industry to take over.

* http://www.brooklynspaceprogram.org/BSP/Home.html
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Mercedes has this "exclusive" social network for the under-30 set. But clearly the website was written by someone over 30: I'm one of too many of my "demographic" for the club. In big letters from them: Sorry. In fine print, there is a link to the general survey page, but the damage had already been done. Okay, another luxury car company would actually appreciate my interest in their business (my loyalties are with Volvo).

But consider this: if I were a potential customer, I'd be totally turned off. Rule 103 of marketing: make your customer feel special. Now suppose that down the road, I decide to go to a Benz dealership. I'd have fun with the salesman. Don't ask me about the chicken games I'd set up for him, but I'd get the run for my money. The set-up line might possibly be;"I know that something that happened between me and this company 30 years ago isn't your respnsibility, but someone's got to take the fall." The result may end up with me taking that electronic checkbook out the door in confidence(if cars will be sold in stores then), or in a good laugh.

Happy Half Birthday

That's 17 and a half. The high-IQ kid's show "Arthur" makes a stand about Prunella's ego-eccentricity when she throws a 9-1/2 birthday party (wow- almost double digits!) The little celebrated, often ridiculed milestone marks halfway from last April to legal. I don't plan to do anything extravagant; it'll just be less of a hassle (no more "Mommy can you sign off on this").

More essentially, I spent part of this weekend over the state line at Holy Cross in Bethesda. It was a Model UN event, and a well-orchestrated one at that. I could rave for the food (Panera-esque bread bowl beat the taco option 10-1), but the dynamics of the committee sessions were a draw as well.

ALL the below is simulation, not breaking international news...

I repped VietNam in SPECPOL, dealing with the Pakistan Flood Crisis. Naturally, I chummed out with China and N Korea. I couldn't help but side with Lebanon :). Trusting the Pakistani government was an edgy position to take- but edgy in Model UN means fun. The chairs (the high school co-eds who ran the committee and imputed punishment to disruptive nations) kept reminding me and my friends (allies) that we were poor and therefore irrelevant to providing aid relief. Our little club befriended America and won over "that rich country" we needed to pass the bill. The chairs thought that China should fix its own poverty issue before bailing out Pakistan. Things were going oh-so-well; I was about to get my resolution passed, until a Crisis happened. Yes, it put egg on my face. A report came out stating that the Pakistani government was a leaky tube that lost 60% of aid money to evil-doers. Away with US support and my Resolution went out the window. Somebody on the Crisis committee is going to get a nuggy tomorrow in class...

I'm An Affiliated Voter Now

Discussing communism is one thing. It's a different matter when you're discussing communism with the student from China. In Communist China, membership in the Party is dispensed on an exclusivity basis. In fact, only 7% of the population is a card carrying member. In Comparative Politics, we learned that some young Chinese die to be members. You must love communism to be a member, though. Such an affiliation can put you on the US blacklist. The Party's less ideological now than it was in Mao days. In fact, there are now businessmen in the club. We call this hypocriticism. Fortunately, our student sees a future in a free world enterprise and does not expect to be a technocrat. Being a member of the Party, he says, doesn't guarantee you the best job anymore.

In America's multiparty system, parties vie for membership. Exclusive parties don't work. Maybe they used to in the 19th century, but not today. From my laptop, I can join any number of political parties, from the GOP to the DNC to Larouche's cult or the Greens. I just did join one, and it only took about 2 minutes.
They fiddled around with the idea about being 18 in the disclaimer, but they didn't ask anything of it. If you can register to vote prior to 18, then so goes.
Some day, I'll come out of the woodwork on which one I joined.

In support group:
"Yes, I have something to admit."
"We're behind you all the way"
"I'm a member of the ********** party.

Shopping Spree!

Civil War Friendship Memorial, a massive memorial spanning the potomac river commemorating the end of the Civil war and the reuniting of North and South.
Why it's bogus- Put the memorial on the Mason Dixon Line. Maryland was a 'northern' state by coercion.

Federal Stimulus Memorial Southern Bay Bridge, a record-length combi suspension and trestle bridge. Why it's bogus- it serves no interstate interest.

Federal Stimulus Hart-Miller-Pleasure Northern Bay Bridge, another impressive bridge over the Chesapeake. Why it's bogus- it serves only Baltimore.

Virginia Flying V Ceremonial Air Brigade- an impressive sight of aerial might! Why it's bogus-It's Frivolous!

Anti-Nephalim Spacepod- forget just the nuke threat. The final coming will be indiscriminate to anything or anyone- unless this thingy is built. Why it's bogus- have these officvials been to church lately?

State Pride Protection Program TIme Machine- its ostentatious use is to go back in time to stop Spiro Agnew from gaining political power by locking him in the Dungeon, also to be built with Fed funds. Why it's bogus- Einstein proved that time travel is all but impossible.

Fairfax County Business Attraction Magnet- the details are unknown, whteher tilting MontCo on its side or using large powerful CEO magnets. Why it's bogus- It's a B>A>M race; MontCo will just buy one, too.

Rockville Sister City Visitation Incentive Program- the program will provide trips free of charge for Rockvillers to visit Pinneburg, Germany, in the name of cultural awareness. Why it's bogus- Junkets! Anyway, there's a brand spanking new arts+ humanities center two miles down the road at Strathmore.




The real story: PG County (MD) can't manage to spend $2 million in HUD money, although the state as well as bordering Virginia have doused themselves with billions in BRAC, ARRA, and other federal monies.

How much money shalt thou bring?

$2 for token participation in the Model UN fundraising event (hot drinks and donuts), of which I'll be going to school early to handle.

$5 for the tag day. I just learned that these were paired with dances to "make it more convenient" for stduents to wear their dancing attire to class- for a fee.

$5 for the RAVE. For some reason, student government does not approve of the student body's favorite DJ, DJZ (www.tomzorcdj.com) Maybe Dionysis should get cracking to GPA (that's right, grade-point-average) reform instead of old spite. ($10 at the door)
_______
$12.

Well, all that great stuff is still cheaper than a movie at so-called 'Chinatown'. It makes even more economical sense if you believe in the 'loot rail' theory.
(Crooks steal well-monied people's stuff and make a getaway on mass transit. This is based on the theory that crooks ain't got wheels. Evidence has shown that most crooks steal a car if they need one.)

Silly Ways That People Get Government Money

So...who's a first time homebuyer in your household?
Your 4-year old?
Some people say it's cheating the system
but there's no minimum age for owning property in America
of course it turns out the parents are pocketing the cash
by they were the ones that paid for the house.

A Hurrah for Youth Empowerment

Some oft quoted ideas

Allow everyone to register to vote at 16- current law in most stes allow you to register if you will be 18 by the next election. That may be as young as 16 or as old as 18. All 16 year olds are allowed to make political contribution (Hey kids, remember sending money to the Obama team? Maybe you were a Ron Paul fan or for Romney or maybe on the McCain Train)

Drinking age
If prohibition won't work then a country probably needs a drinking age
Let's make it 22. Your brain is more developed then than 21.
21 or military ID?
Let's let responsible college kids have a sip.
18 with completion of alcohol safety course (required for boating and driving in many states, why not have one for drinking responsibly), 17 with diploma (or otherwise proven responsible) to allow for younger freshmen. If they're going to do it anyway, why not make it legal

There are loopholes in many states, but to keep this site FAMILY friendly, they're not being listed here.

Smoking- consensus says: Just ban it.

PS If you're reading this post while driving or operating other large machinery WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!

American Jokes

I love America. I'm not laughing at it, but with it. These jokes sum up some stereotypes about Americans: Stuffed, gun-toting, cupiant, affluent, overlyprotective, and on...

"1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. "

(http://www.jokesaboutamericans.com/)

How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out. (Ibid)

Why is an astronaut like an American footballer?
They both like to make safe touch-downs.

These four guys were walking down the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.

A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"

The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"
The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"
The Israeli, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"
The American says, "What's a shortage?"

(http://thejokes.co.uk/american-humor-3.php)

Is it Real or Am I Dreaming?

There are those days where you feel out of your head. That's happened to me before- usually when very sick or dehydrated. You see in slow motion and it's an OBE experience. But does it happen at other times?

When I question: What is the meaning of parents, life dreams. When I question the fact of reality. When life is like a dream. I dream in sleep sometimes of hitting a jackpot find of great numismatic value. But it's never real. Until now.

I was at the bank, and the tellers and I were volleying about the government's postdated check. They claimed that I had to wait til tommorrow, but I argued that since they already held my checks for over a week, and they took them before, that they should take mine today. Must be a manager's peeve fad of the day, like making sure the patrons don't wear underwear under their swimwear, or something like that. So I remember the Dilbert comic about tellers encouraging customers to use the ATM, so I did. I was nervous about handing the check to a machine, but the ATM scanned the check and verified the amount. Since it was after 12noon, it'll be processed tomorrow- thus alleviating their complaints about a post dated check. So I can load my transit smart card, I withdraw a $20. I go to the post officelet that was across the hall and planned to break the $20. The clerk didn't like the thought, and another customer insisted that he pay for my 2 44 cent stamps and suggested I go to the teller. SO I take my 20, and since I'm sort of eccentric, asked for a roll of halves and two practical fives. It took them a while to procure the roll. It was a raggedy one that a customer must have brought in, so I went to count them. By George some were silver. The momentum carried my lazy legs 5 blocks. I take out a five to load my card on the bus. By double George one had a star (also a currency collector's delight, especially in higher denominations).

I got home, and found the whole roll was 40% silver halves. A better hit than anyone I've heard of on the Web. I wondered how this could be real.

Now I have no money to spend.


Thing is, I didn't want to go through the hassle of delivering the check safely again to the bank, which was 7 metro stops away from home.

The Whole 9 Yards

It's not wise to bet against a remarkable US recovery. If one had bought a handful of stocks in February, when the news was pelting feel-bad news at you, a half-of-average rate of return at this time would be a whopping 16%. I'm not here to talk about money, though.
These days, the news establishment runs those fell-good stories. Ain't it all bright and merry? Obamacare hits a snag. At least someone cares about running deficits.

Think Positive

H St. NE

Get this. Private industry has decided to run an express bus service along an existing transit corridor (street cars and all to be started soon), and right on top of an existing line. There really shouldn't be such an uproar. I mean, Alexandria did it. No, the real fear is that the general public and not the bar crowd will start taking advantage of free rides, making the X2 bus the elite mode of transport at $1.25.
I just don't get it.