The Russian government had recently held a contest, with the prize as a trip to the new Russian Space Station, and the first trip to the moon in 35 years. The contest was open to Russians of all nations. I, actually, am not ethnically a Russian, but nevertheless I passed as one, and won with my inspirational life story about how being a great-grandson of an Ellis Island immigrant (that part was true) proved many challenges in our family's recently-adopted country (about 70% of Americans have an Ellis Island ancestor) , and how expressing my voice in the style of the New Russia has erased the stigma of being a great-grandson of a generic immigrant.
So off I will fly to space from Russia in July 2009. While George Bush has specifically demanded that I not go, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and the UN commended me on this act, bridging the gap between... too much mush to handle. I actually declined the offer to ceremoniously remove the American flag, on the 40th anniversary of the American lunar landing, and replace it with the Russian type, because then I would never be let into America again, and, anyway, I don't want this to be the defining experience of my life. I just want to go on to college like everyone else.
George Bush has finally kicked America's bucket when questioned on what he will do about the "commies." He stated "this is a diffurunt amurica then the one i gru up in." and declared that he would go to war with Russia if they removed the American flag, and offered Russia nothing to quit now. What a dumb donkey, not to mention he has no authoritative power in July of next year. Four major presidential contestants have stated the need to jump-start our space program to be capable of building a space-fort to protect our flag. Hillary thinks it's better to give everyone on earth socialist health care.
The FBI and CIA as well as the NSO and FDA (Why?) have been given shoot-at-sight orders if they encounter me, so I better watch my back.